to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names
if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it
Judge Andrew Napolitano (via anarchyandacupofcoffee)
The government has always had this power. What do you think the 18 cents a gallon gas tax is? If you drive, you get taxed. What about the shitload of extra taxes they put on cigarettes and alcohol? If you smoke and drink, you get taxed. They even call these taxes “sin taxes”. Sin is a behavior. A delightful one. Judge Andrew Napolitano, you’re fucking tool.
So long as we’re all making sweeping pronouncements about Supreme Court opinions nobody has actually read, I thought I’d get in on the game.
- Professor: You don't cry when your candidate of choice loses an election.
- Me: Oh....
OH MY GOD
My boss just texted me asking to come into work at 4:30 in the morning and I threw my phone down and was like “you’re such a faggot I fucking hate you” and then I heard the Siri confirmation noise and I picked up my phone and
- dentist: *scrapes gums with sharp metal instruments*
- dentist: ur bleedin because u dont floss
That’s pretty neat.
- me: where do you live?
- vegan: I'm a vegan
IS WET (WHITE ENTERTAINMENT TELEVISION)
So there you go…
my favorite game is called “how many episodes can I watch in one night”
I love the bonus round where you try to convince yourself that you can watch a 45 minute episode in like 20 minutes
I swear if I hear that girl say “I’M IN LOVE. I’M NOT IN LOVE.” one more time I will hunt her down and kill her.